Immigration

Read the latest Immigration Rant

Mexicans and Canadians with passports to the line on the right, say hi to Rover the friendly drug, bomb, name brand prescription drug sniffing dog. State the purpose of your visit. Don't pet the dog.

U.S. citizens with passports to the line with the big green light over it, welcome home. Don't pet the dog.

Europeans, Asians, Middle Easterners, citizens from Third World countries with US friendly Dictators who are currently being propped up by our tax dollars and assisting us in the War on Terror to the slightly longer line over there to the Border Patrol agent wearing mirrored sunglasses.

Citizens from Third World countries with Dictators that are basically a pain in Uncle Sam's ass you go see with the guy wearing latex gloves with the big smile on his face. Don't worry here at the US Border we don't profile so long as you don't pet the dog.

A woman with my family name, an unusual and somewhat rare name, in my home town of Morristown, NJ were I lived as a boy, was buried in 1760. That's a ways back. I think it gives me a unique perpective on commenting on immigration. Personally, I am for it.

I've married two Hispanic women though not at the same time after all a man can only with stand so much punishment before he breaks. OK, I've revealed my bias. My life was also saved by three Mexican farm workers, probably illegals. They took the time from picking cotton or okra to pull me from underneath an overturned van after a car crash killed the driver my friend and mentor, Sky Burdette. This tragic accident happened back in 1978 outside of Westhoff, Texas. I remember those brown faces taking of their straw hats to shade me while we waited for an ambulance. I can also remember seeing the carload after carload of good honest folks dropping by the accident scene and helping themselves to our overturned load of shrinp and fish we were hauling from Port Arthur.

Yes, Mexico used to extend north to Colorado and west to California and at least as far east as Los Roberto's Taco Shop in San Antonio and points beyond. Now it is America. That's what losing a war will do for you. It's also what having one foot on each side of the border will do for you.

Access

I believe that every Mexican citizen who wants to walk across the border into this country should be able to do it without getting wet. No coyotes herding them through the desert leaving them to die in the back of eighteen wheelers. No desperation. Give the Mexicans the same access to America the Canadians have. For that matter give them the same access we have to Mexico. I have been there too many times (thinking of all the poor tequilla worms I have maimed) and never did I have to forge a river to do it.

President Ronald Reagan implored the U.S.S.R.'s last General Secretarty of the Communist party, Mikhail Gorbachav to "Tear down that wall". He didn't say we needed the building materials for our border.

EDITORS NOTE:According to an expert on the subject of tequila and worms, I assume he has had both, Lee Woods, a media maven, veteran, Disc Jockey when there were discs and all around expert on the fine art of mind alteration has corrected the aforementioned passage reagarding the beverage I claimed to have drunk. Here is his mucho appreciado correction.

"There are no worms in Tequila. Mezcal is the evil beverage that contains the legendary worm. Please do not offend us devotees of the Gusana worm that so appropriately ends a night of pure and unabridged madness."

Jobs

As long as we have less jobs than we have people this is going to be difficult. Sorry, honest, intelligent, respectable, hard working Mexican people but the job line is closed for awhile. But as soon as things turn around we need to keep those green cards flowing. We need to enable the people who seek a better life here to be able to work to get one.

Running across the border to have a baby

Like you wouldn't do it if you were in her barefoot feet? Of course this puts a strain on our hospitals and schools. This is one price a free country pays. What mother wouldn't want to give her baby a chance to live a better life? Well, one who smokes crack maybe. Our border communities deserve more federal money to support the medical and educational infrastructure because of the unique pressures caused by immigration.

Border Crime

Every day we read in the local paper about cross border violence and the anemic government effort to stop it. There have been countless innocent lives lost. Kidnapping is a very real possibility thoughout the country for the rich and poor and tourist alike. In order for Mexico not to fall into total chos and ruin the people of Mexico are going to need to ask for and then receive multi national peace keeping but ready to kick ass troops from the UN.