The Re-invention of Eliot Spitzer
This editorial is filled with sexual innuendo and double entendres. All you have to do is read a bit to get to them. I found them within the body of an article written by the disgraced former governor of New York, Eliot Spitzer which appeared in the March 30, 2009 NEWSWEEK edition called The Thinking Mans Guide to Populist Rage. The multi authored piece was pimped on the cover of that issue.
What was NEWSWEEK thinking with the cover art anyway? The cover was produced apparently from an ancient photograph of an all white mob of male villagers with torches, blood hounds and what appears to be a wooden cross. Who is the intended target of the supposed Populist Rage? We finally get a black guy in the White House and NEWSWEEK runs a cover that shows white guys out looking for someone to lynch. And they label one of them Spitzer!
Yes, the Re-invention of Eliot Spitzer, the former Governor of New York and former client of smoking hot prostitute Ashley Dupre, has indeed begun. None other than conservative bashing NEWSWEEK magazine is the starting vehicle in this race from sleaze
Now before you get to thinking Joe Six Pack is the moral compass of the nation think again. No, I just don’t have four grand to toss on the bedside table for an afternoon’s descent into the hedonistic pleasures Ms. Dupre is obviously skilled at. I also have a wonderfully jealous wife who will not be so forgiving should I so much as entertain that fantasy aloud.
So why bash poor Eliot? Because the moron was the Governor of New York when he had sex with Miss Ashley in a room of the Mayflower Hotel in Washington DC. Now he is trying to resurrect his in your face public career with this article. As the former New York Attorney General he would have gladly hung by the heels any poor schmuck under his command or any other elected official who got caught in the company of a lady of the night.
Here word taken completely out of context is portions of Spitzer’s NEWSWEEK March 30, 2009 article. To assit putting them in the proper context, one in which you might believe him is the ghost of world renowned mind psychic Dr. Sigmund Freud.
SPITZER: “Catastrophic risk taking”
FREUD: This is when elected by millions of people you then pay for hook ups.
SPITZER: “Decade of neglect”
FREUD: He wasn’t getting it at home.
SPITZER: “Gambling in Casablanca”
FREUD: This is likely your desire to be spanked and punished. No one goes to Casablanca for any other reason.
SPITZER: “30 years of intentional destruction”
FREUD: Your problem behavior existed for longer than any of us thought. Were you friends with Marv Albert or Dick Morris as a child?
SPITZER: “Desires to the contrary”
FREUD: Perhaps you should invite Barney Frank for over for drinks to discuss your desires to the contrary.
SPITZER: “Needs rules to guide the behavior”
FREUD: You are obviously a holier than thou reformed SOB trying to figure out how to get in on some more government dough.
SPITZER: “ONLY Government as enforcer can ensure adequate integrity, transparency and fairness to customers”
FREUD: Look out, Obama, is set to appoint you to the Supreme Court as soon as one of them drops dead or Drug Czar. If there was a department of Hooker Control you'd be a shoe in.
SPITZER: “Doing very bad things.”
FREUD: Hmmmm .... very bad things. Ms. Dupre certainly must have earned her money!
SPITZER: “Everybody claims to love it”
FREUD: Who have you been talking to? Anyone who paid her $4000 is of course going to say they loved it. Put your tongue back in your mouth.
SPITZER: “ It is human nature”
FREUD: If I wasn’t dead I would kick your ass for that one I'll be the one to say if it was human nature or not.
SPITZER: “Remarkable explosion”
FREUD: For $4000 it better be.
SPITZER: “If you don't understand you will never understand.
FREUD: Oh I understand alright, does she take American Express?
SPITZER: “A cost or benefit to society that is not captured in the price of private transaction”.
FREUD: Ahhh … your backsliding to the consenting adults argument, what happens behind closed doors and the victimless crime thing.
SPITZER: “Cannot begin to capture the harm to society”
FREUD: Now your guilt has begun to seep in, so we are supposed to feel sorry for you?
SPITZER: “When public money is not involved is a bad idea.
FREUD: There, the smoking gun! So you are saying Public Funds should be used by busy elected officials to get laid.
SPITZER: “What we need to restore ... Is ... principles”.
FREUD: Oh, for the love of God please somebody give the hooker a reality show before anyone makes this jerk a talking head on a cable network news show.
Copyrighted 2009 Joe Six Pack . Biz